If you are writing a memoir or life story, it is helpful to read as widely as possible – as many memoirs as you can. It can also be helpful to seek the advice of the experts – those who have trodden the path before you. Here’s my top 10 books for advice and inspiration when it comes to writing your stories.
Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within, by Natalie Goldberg
When I read this book over a decade ago, I followed it up by ordering a case full of Goldberg’s audio tapes (yes, it was that long ago) entitled Wild Mind: Freeing the writer within, now also available as a book. I recommend you read both. Goldberg is a Zen Buddhist, and her philosophy is about letting yourself lose control as a writer – not thinking or getting too logical – “just go for the jugular,” she writes. She also sees writing as a practice that can help you to understand the value of your life – a process I, as a life story writer, see my clients undergo as they speak the stories of their lives. It also includes Zen-based exercises to expand your writing skills.
Writing as a Way of Healing: How telling our stories transforms our lives, by Louise DeSalvo
This book is absolutely one of my favourite books about writing. Nearly every page is underlined or has notes written in the margins. De Salvo draws on the latest scientific studies about using writing as a tool for healing. She writes about how anyone can use writing as a way to heal the emotional and physical wounds that are an inevitable part of life. She discusses writers such as Virginia Woolf, Henry Miller and Isabel Allende, and how they were transformed by the writing process. But the main point is, that for writing to work effectively as a tool for transformation, you need to write about the facts of an event and the emotion.
Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott
If you’ve heard of Anne Lamott, you’ve heard the term ‘shitty first draft’. She is quirky and funny and insightful, and best of all she makes you want to pick up a pen and just write for the sake of it, shitty or otherwise. Her invaluable writing lessons can help you more deeply understand yourself as a writer and a human being, in all its messy glory.
Your Life as Story, by Tristine Rainer
Rainer was the student of Anais Nin, so she’s worth reading just for that fact! Check out her novel Apprenticed to Venus: My Secret Life with Anaïs Nin – I adored it almost as much as Anais’ work, and that’s saying something. In Your Life as Story, Rainer explains how to treasure the struggles in our past and discover the meaning within those experiences. Ultimately, this book is about finding the unique myth in your own life.
The Art of Memoir, by Mary Karr
Carr’s book The Liars’ Club spent more than a year at the top of the New York Times best-sellers list, so she knows a thing or two about the art of memoir. She has also taught writing for decades at Syracuse University. This book is about her writing process, and it is full of her characteristic wit, compassion and, perhaps most reassuringly, self-doubt.
Writing True Stories, by Patti Miller
Patti Miller runs writing courses through the Australian Writer’s Centre, in person (Sydney general) and on-line. She also runs workshops in Paris – one can dream! This book is for anyone who is writing autobiography, memoir, personal essay, biography and creative non-fiction. It’s accessible and easy-to-read and highly practical. Patti gives examples from her students and includes plenty of practical exercises for you to flex your life writing muscles.
The Faith of a Writer, by Joyce Carol Oates
Joyce Carol Oates has written fifty-eight novels, and many more books of poetry, personal and critical essays, as well as plays. Fifty-eight novels! So when she writes about what makes a story striking, we would do well to listen. In this book, Oates writes about inspiration, memory, self-criticism and ‘the unique power of the unconscious.’ She also speaks of childhood inspirations, offers advice to young writers, and discusses the states of mind of a writer at work. There’s some valuable lessons on how language, ideas, and experience can be assembled to create art.
Writing for Your Life, by Deena Metzger
The author of Writing for Your Life is a therapist as well as a writer, and her process is to help us heal what is fragmented, injured or suppressed. This book is about freeing up what might have been lost and exploring our creativity through journaling, autobiography, stories, fairy tales dreams and myths. Metzger’s purpose is to help us stop silencing our unique voice, and every writer knows that is a major part of the journey – finding your voice and wielding it with power.